Be.Strong

I pretend it doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother me. But I think about it all the time. I know I shouldn't, but give me some time. :) 

Disappointments after disappointments

i'm really frustrated with my life now. Nothing is going well, i cant see any joy in my current life. I don't know what can i do to make everything right again. I have my limits. I'm just a girl. Who wants a normal life. I want my perfect life back, guess i'm not gonna get it any sooner. I'm tired of all this. I know there are still a lot of people in many countries who are suffering even more, how i wish i can help them and just leave every unhappy things behind. Sometimes i cry unknowingly. I didn't know until i taste the tears. Everything before was just a beautiful memory. YES, those are just memories. I miss the old me, the bubbly and positive thinking me. I want her back. I'm not the old me now and i hate the me now. Where's the chic me? Where did my nuttiness went? Why are they not here when i need them :/ Having my trials now. I'm having a bad time. I didn't expect i would end my A2 this way. I never ever thought that things could happen this fast. I'm hurt. really. Sometimes, i wish i can be so tired so that i can doze off and never wake up again. But i noe i still have to wake up and face the reality. I'm gonna be a strong girl, i promise. A lot of people don't know how i feel, they assume they know but they don't. I just need time. I need time to heal the wound. I don't care if it'll leave any scar behind, I just want it to heal. Please. Please heal faster. I don't wanna suffer all this. I wanna live my life! i wanna have a fun life! i wanna graduate faster. I wanna have a brand new life to start a brand new me. Dear lord, please give me the strength to go through all this. Thank you

i hope everything will be fine again.

i hope that everything will be fine after this. I hope that everything will go back to normal. I don't like it this way, but i have to accept the truth and move on. But, theres a part of me that still hope that everything will become normal. i want everything to be better than before :) Whats mine will always be mine, i believe in destiny. i will hope but i wont expect. I noe its a little difficult to explain and understand. But think closer. God wants the best for you :)

Prays.

please come back.

依然还是你

This is the song that i've been in love with for this whole week. Its so so sad. Its like what im going through now. Haix. Its so difficult to focus now. Sometimes i really don't understand why people have different thinking. I've prayed everyday that things would go better and all. It did. But its not what i want. I really hope that time can get both of us through this. I really hope that life has a replay, stop and pause button. Atleast i can go back to enjoy the times with him. Atleast i can pause it there and stop the world from turning. Atleast i can fast forward and look into the future. To see what will happen. I know im just imagining but whats wrong? Its call blogging right? My heart really hurts. I hope that everything can go back as normal. Please, I've been praying every minute i think of this. Please. I dun wanna let go. Please don't. Please rethink. Please...

pray. hope.

 i pray every minute just to make miracle. I hope everything will be fine. Hang in there you. You can do it :)

i miss you.

I think about you ever minute. Every second u may say. I feel very heartbroken now. I noe u aint't feeling any better than me. We must go through this together :) But i cant help missing you. Its like a everyday routine. I miss the days when u just text me a good morning, no more good mornings now. My phone isnt vibrating like the way it should. I bet it misses ur messages too :( All of this happens for a reason k? Mum told me that if this is worth it do what you think is right for you :) and i already have my answer. And i noe u noe that answer too :)   Thank you for being there for me when i needed someone. We were best friends, and we can be best friends now. I wont accept the word long term, but for now. Take care k? will text you like always but in a different way. Let everything be bygones. Take care of your family since this is your choice :) and its not a bad choice. It a rational one. if i were u i might do the same thing too. Everything change but i hope the feeling between us will never change. Because we mean a lot to each other. When you're ready come back ok? ugh. My mind cant stop thinking about you! i will miss u like ever, promise me u will too. well, i dont think its the end because every fairy tale ends with a happy ending. I believe that it will be back to normal. Or maybe it will be better :) jia you. No matter what happens i will be there for you. Like always.