Disappointments after disappointments

i'm really frustrated with my life now. Nothing is going well, i cant see any joy in my current life. I don't know what can i do to make everything right again. I have my limits. I'm just a girl. Who wants a normal life. I want my perfect life back, guess i'm not gonna get it any sooner. I'm tired of all this. I know there are still a lot of people in many countries who are suffering even more, how i wish i can help them and just leave every unhappy things behind. Sometimes i cry unknowingly. I didn't know until i taste the tears. Everything before was just a beautiful memory. YES, those are just memories. I miss the old me, the bubbly and positive thinking me. I want her back. I'm not the old me now and i hate the me now. Where's the chic me? Where did my nuttiness went? Why are they not here when i need them :/ Having my trials now. I'm having a bad time. I didn't expect i would end my A2 this way. I never ever thought that things could happen this fast. I'm hurt. really. Sometimes, i wish i can be so tired so that i can doze off and never wake up again. But i noe i still have to wake up and face the reality. I'm gonna be a strong girl, i promise. A lot of people don't know how i feel, they assume they know but they don't. I just need time. I need time to heal the wound. I don't care if it'll leave any scar behind, I just want it to heal. Please. Please heal faster. I don't wanna suffer all this. I wanna live my life! i wanna have a fun life! i wanna graduate faster. I wanna have a brand new life to start a brand new me. Dear lord, please give me the strength to go through all this. Thank you