karma.

Warning: This will be a very angry post. Don't read this if you're in a bad mood. Please and Thank you

Well, i believe in karma. What comes round goes around. Beware. I'm effing pissed off now. I cant believe you three did all this to me. wtf. I'm very frustrated and i'm super disappointed. YOU! i trusted you, i treated you as a friend and you did all these? wth. Come on la. You said you treasure our friendship and bla bla bla. From what i see, this is just bullshit. ''Huimin, i miss being friends with you'' Your friend asked me to talk to you when u did all this to me. I put my pride down and tell u how i feel and what i think you should do. You give me that 'sick face' and nod your head. I thought you really understand what i wanted to tell you. AND WHAT IS THIS I SEE?! fml. why on earth did i have this kind of friend?! I trusted her, i believed her. and yet. ugh. Just for a moment there i thought you were naive. But this is just plain stupid.

and YOU, i feel like a fool in front of you. I think i've been played. wtf is wrong with you? Did u ever think before doing anything? So what if you're a 4 A student? That doesnt make u perfect. You have a low EQ man. I must say. when i look at you i feel so disgusted. I didn't want to feel that way, but i can't help it since you're doing all this in front of me. Well, all the best to you. I hope you know what you're doing. and if you ever ever say that you're doing all this because of me. I will keep quiet. There's nothing i can say because i'm not showing anything that can make u misunderstand me.

last but not least, me. I think i'm moving on great. I didn't want to hate you. I'm sorry but i think i just did. You finally did something that really disgust me. Well done. Thank you for teaching me how to really choose a friend, Thank you for giving me all this disappointments. I'm sorry i have low EQ, but this is just me. I will change but not now. Everytime i wanna give you the benefit of doubt, you just crushed it into pieces. EQ, please increase. Well, by doing all these makes the both of you happy that's great. Karma will get you back. You guys really need a great fall before you grow up.

I'm hungry!

i'm hungry! i realise im always hungry :( its so frustrated when u see yummy food online and u can sink your teeth in it :( That feeling truly suck. My stomach is raping now -.- i'm sooooo hungry! :( nom nom nom ;'(

Grumpy

I have no idea why am i feeling this way, Its eff-ing suckish. This won't be a good day. Wanted to wake up early in the morning and study, maybe its the caffein (how do u spell that thing that coffee contains?) that make me stayed up all night. The night was peaceful. I liked it. But i got tired and slept off :/ wasn't very persevere -.- fine. Woke up at 9.30 and feel that i have wasted the whole morning sleeping. That's one of the reason that made me all grumpy-up. ugh. Well, I really wanna graduate soon, i wanna live my life. I hate the me now. Faking a smile all day, i find it tiring and not entertaining :/ Plus. i really need to work on my social skill. I suck to the max. I wanna be friends with everyone. I dun wanna have enemies. I just wanna be happy :/ But it seems that there's a barrier that is so THICK, that i couldn't go through. I WILL go through. no no, i MUST. I cant follow my mood all the time right? I really need to be more considerate and control my bad temper :/ oh, i need to change my thinking too. Its way too childish :x I'm serious with all these. I really hope i can be a better person. I hope. 

ugh.

Chem is just not getting into ma' brain!

Be.Strong

I pretend it doesn't hurt, it doesn't bother me. But I think about it all the time. I know I shouldn't, but give me some time. :) 

Disappointments after disappointments

i'm really frustrated with my life now. Nothing is going well, i cant see any joy in my current life. I don't know what can i do to make everything right again. I have my limits. I'm just a girl. Who wants a normal life. I want my perfect life back, guess i'm not gonna get it any sooner. I'm tired of all this. I know there are still a lot of people in many countries who are suffering even more, how i wish i can help them and just leave every unhappy things behind. Sometimes i cry unknowingly. I didn't know until i taste the tears. Everything before was just a beautiful memory. YES, those are just memories. I miss the old me, the bubbly and positive thinking me. I want her back. I'm not the old me now and i hate the me now. Where's the chic me? Where did my nuttiness went? Why are they not here when i need them :/ Having my trials now. I'm having a bad time. I didn't expect i would end my A2 this way. I never ever thought that things could happen this fast. I'm hurt. really. Sometimes, i wish i can be so tired so that i can doze off and never wake up again. But i noe i still have to wake up and face the reality. I'm gonna be a strong girl, i promise. A lot of people don't know how i feel, they assume they know but they don't. I just need time. I need time to heal the wound. I don't care if it'll leave any scar behind, I just want it to heal. Please. Please heal faster. I don't wanna suffer all this. I wanna live my life! i wanna have a fun life! i wanna graduate faster. I wanna have a brand new life to start a brand new me. Dear lord, please give me the strength to go through all this. Thank you

i hope everything will be fine again.

i hope that everything will be fine after this. I hope that everything will go back to normal. I don't like it this way, but i have to accept the truth and move on. But, theres a part of me that still hope that everything will become normal. i want everything to be better than before :) Whats mine will always be mine, i believe in destiny. i will hope but i wont expect. I noe its a little difficult to explain and understand. But think closer. God wants the best for you :)